I will admit that I’m stubborn to my own detriment. This was especially true with this break-up, and I still struggle to get over my own stubbornness. I wanted this guy to be the one so badly that I convinced myself that he was from God, when perhaps he wasn’t.
Looking back, I never considered the fact that my relationship with God wasn’t strong or what it needed to be for me to actually be sure that he was the one God had chosen for me. I’ve always wanted that perfect love – I think most girls do. If there was and is one thing I wanted in my life, it was true love. If I was granted a wish, it would have been used on love. A love like something out of a fairy tale or movie.
An important question
To anyone reading this who is convinced that God has sent someone on your path, please ask yourself this very important question: Are they bringing and leading you closer to God? If the answer is ‘no’, then you have to be very, very careful, because there is a good chance God didn’t send them. Why would God send someone on your path that takes you further away from Him? That doesn’t seem like a man/woman of God.
Be careful of fooling yourself that something is from God, when in fact, you are just trying to justify your actions or needs. I understand this better than anyone. I wanted love. I wanted a guy that loved me. And I wanted human love more than God’s love because I didn’t have a relationship with God, so I justified the relationship with the idea that God had sent him…even though he was not putting God first, or me first, or bringing me closer to God. Confused? Well, even as I am typing this I’m not completely sure how I justified it to myself for so many years. I guess the saying ‘hindsight is 20/20’ is really true.
Only with a lot of reflection did I realise that I deserve a man that will lead me closer to God. Almost a year after the break-up, I noticed this guy. One day during the worship part of the service, I happened to glance to my side and I saw him with arms outstretched, eyes closed, just worshiping God. It was so honest and pure. That is when I realised that the type of man I deserve is someone that loves God more anything, because then he will love me the way I deserve to be loved, the way God intended, and he will lead me closer to God, not away from God.
In that moment I realised that one day, God will send someone on my path and it will be amazing. I don’t know how things will turn out or who it will be, but I do know now that I won’t settle for someone who doesn’t love God.
In that moment, I knew that God revealed something important to me – he showed me what I needed to prioritise when it came to choosing a partner. It wasn’t things that society tells us to prioritise, such as looks or riches, but a true, kind heart that loves God. For now, I will worship while I wait, and praise God for already giving me the greatest love story of all. A love story that nothing on earth can compare to. A love story that pales in comparison to the greatest romance stories that humans can conjure up.
“God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8). How amazing to know that an unconditional, true love is already closer to us than we could have ever thought?